- Tell people not getting the job done in time to fix it
- If they know their work isn’t good, false praise messes with their mind and continues the course. Removes incentive to try harder.
- They need to know I know he difference between great and mediocre.
- Make others feel comfortable challenging you, criticizing even.
- Listen, debate, push people to decide (don’t decide for them), persuade, and learn.
- Feedback in a way that does not call into question your confidence, but leaves little room for interpretation.
- It’s your job to listen to others. Don’t feel like a babysitter, but realize it’s your focus area.
- Guide the team to achieve results.
- Must define a trusting relationship with all direct reports.
- Culture of praise and criticism to keep moving in the right direction, understand motivations so you can help avoid burnout or boredom, and collaborate. Need the relationships
- Failing to guide, pushing into roles where they’re not suited, or being unrealistic erodes trust.
- Challenging people can show you care.
- If they trust you, more likely to accept praise/criticism, give me feedback, embrace their role, and get results.
- Avoiding conflict/embarrassment is disastrous as a leader.
- Communicate clearly so there’s no room for interpretation, but humbly.
- Be prepared to care deeply about people but be hated in return.
- If nobody is mad at you, not challenging enough.
- If you need to provide feedback that hurts, acknowledge the pain.
- “If we have the data about what works, let’s go that route. But if all we have is opinions, let’s use yours.”
- Feedback takes energy, so do it only for things that matter. Leave at least 3 things unsaid each day.
- Ruinous empathy!
- Most people prefer the challenging “jerk” to the boss who focuses on being “nice” and avoids candor.
- Give a damn about your people. But don’t worry about if they give a damn about you. Let go of the vanity and don’t let it prevent your ability to challenge.
- Ruinous empathy is responsible for the vast majority of management mistakes.
- Praise to point out great work and push for more of it, not to make the person feel good/better.
- Few people scrutinize you more than your direct reports. Important feedback. Actively solicit it and push through the awkwardness. If they’re bold enough to criticize you, do not critique the delivery. Reward the candor.
- When criticizing, try to be less nervous, and focus on “just saying it”. Focus less on how to say it, since you’ll wimp out.
- The need for honest communication can’t always wait until you’ve built the relationship.
- Learn their long-term ambitions and how current circumstances fit into motivations and goals.
- Gradual growth == stability
- Many will shift back and forth between steep growth and gradual growth throughout their careers, so don’t permanently label.
- Don’t try to provide purpose, but understand how they derive meaning from their work.
- Don’t allow someone to stay on a path they’re not suited for — wasted possibility and a cause for not thriving.
- Everyone can be exception somewhere, and it’s a job to help them find that role.
- If somebody hasn’t proven in the course of two years that they could do exceptional work, they almost certainly would never get there.
- Set and uphold a quality bar. Feels harsh in the short term, but lowering the bar is meaner.
- Poor performers create a lot of extra work for others, picking up the slack and cleaning up. Retaining them penalizes people doing good work.
- People change. Change with them. Don’t lock in perceptions.
- Constantly adjust to the new reality of the day or week or year as it unfolds.
- Give the quiet ones a voice.
- Sometimes expressing outrageous opinions is a way to get to a better answer or more interesting convo. “Please poke holes in this idea — I know it’s terrible.”
- Making an idea clear requires a deep understanding of both the idea as well as the person it’s being delivered to.
- People you lead will key off your mood.
- Sometimes my job to keep a debate going, not end it.
- Don’t expect others to execute on a decision without being persuaded that it’s the right thing to do.
- Essence of leadership is not getting overwhelmed by circumstances.
- DO NOT try to manage other people’s emotions. Acknowledge them and react compassionately. Ask questions until you get to the real issue. If you feel guilty that they’re upset, you’re defensive.
- “Is there anything I could do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?”
- Feedback: the situation you saw, the behavior (good or bad), and the impact you observed.
- State your intention to lower defenses. You really want to help.
- DO NOT retreat to abstractions. Ruinous empathy. Explicitly describe.
- Finding help is better than offering it yourself.
- Don’t save guidance for weekly 1:1s or perf reviews. Those are meant to reinforce, not substitute what we do every day.
- Formal reviews should never have any surprises.
- Have them come up with ideas for their growth plan. Shows they understand the feedback.
- In their life stories, changes and choices reveal motivators. Ex: dropping out of grad school == money or tangible application, rather than deep diving. Understand what they care about.
- Focus on dreams and the desired apex of their career. Then prioritize goals to move that direction.
- “I understand what you mean, but not sure others will. How can you explain it so it’s easier to understand?”
- If they never have something to talk about in 1:1: “This is your time, and you typically have no agenda. Why is that?”